1
00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:05,304
Good morning, almost husband.

2
00:00:05,371 --> 00:00:07,706
Good morning, almost... oh, no! No!

3
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:09,207
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh, calm down.

4
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:12,484
This can't be the first time you've woken
up with other men in your bedroom.

5
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,079
Happy wedding day!

6
00:00:14,147 --> 00:00:15,380
What are you doing here?

7
00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:19,718
You pay for a full-service wedding,
you get our full packages.

8
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:20,585
Ohh.

9
00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:22,688
Close, honey. So close.

10
00:00:22,755 --> 00:00:25,157
- And we're crossing.
- We're crossing.

11
00:00:25,224 --> 00:00:26,491
- And trays down.
- And trays down.

12
00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:28,994
Napkins.

13
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:31,163
Relax. Enjoy.

14
00:00:31,630 --> 00:00:33,465
The car will pick you up at 4:00

15
00:00:33,532 --> 00:00:36,368
to whisk you away to your
beautiful hilltop wedding.

16
00:00:36,435 --> 00:00:37,535
How's the weather?

17
00:00:37,603 --> 00:00:38,770
I had a dream it rained on everyone.

18
00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:39,971
Dry as a bone.

19
00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:41,172
The only thing it will
be raining tonight is men.

20
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:42,474
- We really need it.
- Mm.

21
00:00:42,541 --> 00:00:43,581
Has anyone heard from Sal?

22
00:00:43,609 --> 00:00:44,342
No.

23
00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:45,910
And I will never understand

24
00:00:45,978 --> 00:00:49,347
why you asked that boozy us-hag
to officiate your wedding.

25
00:00:49,415 --> 00:00:51,483
We didn't exactly ask Sal.

26
00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:52,917
- Sal...
- Mm-hmm.

27
00:00:52,985 --> 00:00:55,105
We have something very
important to talk to you about.

28
00:00:55,154 --> 00:00:57,522
Yeah, we hope that maybe you
would be open to the idea...

29
00:00:57,590 --> 00:01:00,125
Yes! I will totally officiate your wedding!

30
00:01:00,192 --> 00:01:03,061
Oh, my drinks!

31
00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:07,565
It was supposed to be an intervention.

32
00:01:07,633 --> 00:01:15,633
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com

33
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:23,248
Hey, best man.

34
00:01:23,315 --> 00:01:24,816
Hello, blushing bride.

35
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:26,451
I feel like I should hate that more.

36
00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:28,239
Yeah, I think I might
go with "best person."

37
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,088
Anyway, I'm just calling
to see how you're doing.

38
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:31,156
I'm great.

39
00:01:31,223 --> 00:01:32,290
Really?

40
00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:34,092
I-I... is this about mom again?

41
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,493
I told you... I'm fine.

42
00:01:35,561 --> 00:01:37,362
My mother can't come to the wedding.

43
00:01:37,429 --> 00:01:40,632
She was at a yoga retreat, and
she fell out of a warrior pose,

44
00:01:40,699 --> 00:01:41,733
and she broke her hip.

45
00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:44,262
Should we consider the possibility
that someone pushed her?

46
00:01:44,303 --> 00:01:45,737
Cam, please.

47
00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:47,172
They were a bunch of peace-loving hippies

48
00:01:47,239 --> 00:01:48,940
who spent two weeks in the
rainforest with my mother.

49
00:01:49,008 --> 00:01:51,676
Of course someone pushed her.

50
00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:53,645
I'm actually relieved she's not coming.

51
00:01:53,712 --> 00:01:56,080
She has given me the gift
of a crazy-free wedding.

52
00:01:56,148 --> 00:01:58,016
I know. I was just a little sad for you.

53
00:01:58,083 --> 00:02:00,785
Mom's a no-show, and you and
dad are hardly even speaking.

54
00:02:00,853 --> 00:02:02,020
Enough about dad.

55
00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:06,491
He doesn't get gay weddings, and I
don't get track suits as casualwear.

56
00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:10,361
Can we please talk about something
happy, like my honeymoon in Mexico?

57
00:02:10,429 --> 00:02:13,198
Oh, yeah, you're gonna want to take
a look at the weather channel.

58
00:02:13,265 --> 00:02:14,666
Hilarious. Love you.

59
00:02:14,733 --> 00:02:15,834
Love you, too.

60
00:02:15,901 --> 00:02:17,368
You're gonna get the gift today, right?

61
00:02:17,436 --> 00:02:18,536
Don't we have a year to do that?

62
00:02:18,604 --> 00:02:20,705
No, I have a husband to do that.

63
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:25,176
They fell in love with this very
specific turquoise Italian glass bowl.

64
00:02:25,244 --> 00:02:26,945
I looked everywhere, finally found one,

65
00:02:27,012 --> 00:02:28,379
and we're not going to
that wedding without it.

66
00:02:28,447 --> 00:02:30,248
Wait. I-I thought you were
taking me to the eye doctor.

67
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,883
They said I'm not supposed
to drive myself home.

68
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,184
No, no, no, no.

69
00:02:33,252 --> 00:02:34,619
I'm picking up Luke
from his wilderness trip.

70
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:35,687
Alex can take you.

71
00:02:35,754 --> 00:02:36,554
That's a bummer.

72
00:02:36,622 --> 00:02:37,856
Aww, dad, I'm touched.

73
00:02:37,923 --> 00:02:40,391
No, not because of you. I'd
just rather pick up Luke.

74
00:02:40,459 --> 00:02:42,060
Than go to the eye doctor.

75
00:02:42,128 --> 00:02:44,295
I-I love spending time with you.

76
00:02:44,363 --> 00:02:46,197
Don't worry... you're fun.

77
00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:47,799
Wow.

78
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:49,334
My dad would never admit this,

79
00:02:49,401 --> 00:02:51,536
but when he wants fun he
goes straight to Luke.

80
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:52,871
They have a weird connection.

81
00:02:52,938 --> 00:02:54,806
They're like Batman and Robin.

82
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:58,476
Dad and I are more like
Batman and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

83
00:02:58,544 --> 00:02:59,778
Honey, don't be like that.

84
00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:02,080
You're super fun!

85
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,014
You sure I can't get Luke?

86
00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:03,882
I heard that!

87
00:03:03,949 --> 00:03:04,949
Let's do this!

88
00:03:06,385 --> 00:03:08,153
Hello.

89
00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:10,221
Hey, mom. Gloria wants to know if
she can do your hair and makeup last

90
00:03:10,289 --> 00:03:11,890
after me and Cam's mom.

91
00:03:13,659 --> 00:03:14,859
It's fine.

92
00:03:14,927 --> 00:03:16,361
Something about Luke
...I've lost interest.

93
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,629
Okay, love you. Bye!

94
00:03:17,696 --> 00:03:19,764
Damn, this is the best
cup of coffee I ever had.

95
00:03:19,832 --> 00:03:22,667
Manny roasts his own
beans every Friday night.

96
00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:25,203
That kid's gonna be roasting
his own beans for a long time,

97
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:26,324
if you know what I mean.

98
00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:30,375
Can I just say thank you
again for letting us stay here?

99
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:33,611
You have thanked us enough
with that big bag of deer meat.

100
00:03:33,679 --> 00:03:35,380
- Aww.
- Hey, mom.

101
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:36,781
Can you see this?

102
00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:37,916
What pimple?

103
00:03:37,983 --> 00:03:39,083
I knew it.

104
00:03:39,151 --> 00:03:40,618
I can't go looking like this.

105
00:03:40,686 --> 00:03:42,220
Weddings are where you meet girls.

106
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,022
Not at this one.

107
00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:45,690
- Well, we better be going.
- Yeah.

108
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,058
Have a great spa day.

109
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:48,560
Men don't have spa days.

110
00:03:48,627 --> 00:03:52,397
We're just going to the club, taking a
steam, having a couple of rubdowns.

111
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,865
Hey.

112
00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:56,067
Do they serve cucumber water at that place?

113
00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:58,203
Sometimes they do a strawberry-basil mix.

114
00:03:58,270 --> 00:03:59,270
Ah.

115
00:03:59,338 --> 00:04:00,438
- Merle?
- Yes, ma'am?

116
00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:02,440
Be back in time for me to do your tie.

117
00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:04,209
Uh, yes, ma'am.

118
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,114
I'm so sorry you had to see that.

119
00:04:09,181 --> 00:04:10,281
See what?

120
00:04:10,349 --> 00:04:11,950
The way we just snapped at each other.

121
00:04:12,017 --> 00:04:13,251
Are you joking?

122
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:17,255
Obviously, Merle and I are going
through a heck of a rough patch.

123
00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:21,292
If I talked to Jay that nice, he
would think I'm cheating on him.

124
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:22,627
Mrs. P.

125
00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:24,629
My darn taxi never came.

126
00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:25,830
I'm gonna miss my flight.

127
00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:26,698
No.

128
00:04:26,765 --> 00:04:27,899
I just...

129
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,734
I don't want to deal with this right now.

130
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:31,903
'Cause I'm already so scared of flying.

131
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:33,571
I just hate everything about it.

132
00:04:33,939 --> 00:04:35,139
Except for the food.

133
00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:37,909
I don't understand how they get such
bold flavors out of that tiny kitchen.

134
00:04:37,976 --> 00:04:41,112
Haley, can you drive Andy
to the airport, please?

135
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:44,048
- She doesn't want to do that.
- Aww, you get me.

136
00:04:44,116 --> 00:04:45,216
Haley.

137
00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,118
I don't have a car. I got dropped off.

138
00:04:47,186 --> 00:04:48,719
I guess we can take my car.

139
00:04:49,287 --> 00:04:50,888
That's settled. Go.

140
00:04:50,956 --> 00:04:52,056
Fine.

141
00:04:52,123 --> 00:04:53,857
Okay.

142
00:04:53,925 --> 00:04:55,025
We really need to hurry.

143
00:04:55,093 --> 00:04:56,260
Relax. We'll get there.

144
00:04:56,328 --> 00:04:58,996
You just worry about being
strapped in a giant metal tube

145
00:04:59,064 --> 00:05:00,097
30,000 feet in the air.

146
00:05:00,165 --> 00:05:02,599
That's right. I heard.

147
00:05:06,170 --> 00:05:06,970
- Hey.
- What?

148
00:05:07,038 --> 00:05:08,472
I just thought of something.

149
00:05:08,539 --> 00:05:10,340
What's going on with my hair today?

150
00:05:10,408 --> 00:05:12,976
Daddy's going to do it up
really pretty with flowers.

151
00:05:13,044 --> 00:05:14,211
Not you, right?

152
00:05:14,278 --> 00:05:15,512
No, other daddy.

153
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:16,713
Oh, thank God.

154
00:05:16,781 --> 00:05:18,061
Mitchell, this is not my tuxedo!

155
00:05:18,082 --> 00:05:19,249
They gave me the wrong order!

156
00:05:19,317 --> 00:05:21,051
And the fuchsia gown didn't tip you off?

157
00:05:21,118 --> 00:05:23,086
I have like nine shirts this color.
I'm wearing a shirt this color.

158
00:05:23,154 --> 00:05:25,021
Okay, deep breaths. Deep breaths.

159
00:05:25,089 --> 00:05:26,590
We have plenty of time
to go to the dry-cleaner.

160
00:05:26,657 --> 00:05:28,091
We knew that there would be a bump today,

161
00:05:28,159 --> 00:05:29,726
and here it is. We're
getting it done early.

162
00:05:29,794 --> 00:05:30,994
This is our bump.

163
00:05:31,062 --> 00:05:33,296
Oh! Oh!

164
00:05:33,364 --> 00:05:35,932
Okay. Okay. So, this is our bump.

165
00:05:42,494 --> 00:05:44,095
I can't handle this.

166
00:05:44,162 --> 00:05:45,830
We're getting married in five hours.

167
00:05:45,898 --> 00:05:47,665
I don't have my perfectly tailored tux.

168
00:05:47,733 --> 00:05:49,634
I can't just go buy something off the rack.

169
00:05:49,701 --> 00:05:50,735
I'm not Cindy Crawford.

170
00:05:50,802 --> 00:05:51,502
Why a woman?

171
00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:52,570
I'm just wondering.

172
00:05:52,638 --> 00:05:53,604
What are we gonna do?

173
00:05:53,672 --> 00:05:54,805
We could eat.

174
00:05:54,873 --> 00:05:56,507
We just need to get in
touch with the owner.

175
00:05:56,575 --> 00:05:57,942
Y-you, uh, you know his name, right?

176
00:05:58,010 --> 00:05:59,210
- It's... Aziz something?
- Oh, oh.

177
00:05:59,278 --> 00:06:00,511
It's... it's... uh, no, it's a-Amir.

178
00:06:00,579 --> 00:06:01,512
It's... it's not Amir, no.

179
00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:02,580
Oh, no, it's, uh, Ahmad.

180
00:06:02,648 --> 00:06:04,548
- It's Achmed.
- No. Oh, it's on the ticket.

181
00:06:04,616 --> 00:06:05,917
Now I'm just feeling racist.

182
00:06:05,984 --> 00:06:07,024
- What is it?
- Here it is.

183
00:06:07,085 --> 00:06:08,052
It's... Jerry.

184
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,186
- J... oh, Jerry.
- Amari.

185
00:06:09,254 --> 00:06:10,488
Jerry Amari.

186
00:06:10,555 --> 00:06:11,622
There you go.

187
00:06:12,724 --> 00:06:14,058
Can you see better in here?

188
00:06:14,126 --> 00:06:16,260
A little, but those drops
are really hanging on.

189
00:06:16,328 --> 00:06:19,497
I'm like Han Solo right when
he came out of the carbonite.

190
00:06:20,065 --> 00:06:20,968
Really? Nothing?

191
00:06:20,969 --> 00:06:21,799
I get it. It's "Star Trek."

192
00:06:21,866 --> 00:06:22,900
You're breaking my heart.

193
00:06:22,968 --> 00:06:24,134
Save it for Luke. He'll love that.

194
00:06:24,202 --> 00:06:25,836
Can we just get the
gift and get out of here?

195
00:06:25,904 --> 00:06:27,271
Right, but first things first.

196
00:06:27,339 --> 00:06:29,173
Let's put on some funny hats,
act like they're not there,

197
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,561
and then walk around all serious.

198
00:06:30,575 --> 00:06:31,642
What's the point of this?

199
00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:33,310
That's good. You're nailing it.

200
00:06:35,847 --> 00:06:36,746
Hey, honey.

201
00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:38,081
How was the eye exam?

202
00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:38,782
Great.

203
00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:39,983
I can barely see.

204
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,318
I'm wearing giant
sunglasses and a girly hat.

205
00:06:41,385 --> 00:06:42,619
Alex and I are having a blast.

206
00:06:42,687 --> 00:06:44,187
But you got the gift, right?

207
00:06:44,255 --> 00:06:45,336
That's what people tell me.

208
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:46,889
Honey, the bowl.

209
00:06:46,957 --> 00:06:47,890
I have the bowl.

210
00:06:47,958 --> 00:06:48,958
It's beautiful.

211
00:06:49,026 --> 00:06:50,026
I'll... I'll see you at home.

212
00:06:50,094 --> 00:06:51,160
Hey, here's a thought...

213
00:06:51,228 --> 00:06:53,997
Now that you told mom you got the bowl,
how about we actually go get it?

214
00:06:54,064 --> 00:06:55,185
Yes, no more fooling around.

215
00:06:55,199 --> 00:06:56,366
Let's go get the bowl.

216
00:06:56,433 --> 00:06:58,201
Oh, right after we find
out our sleep number.

217
00:06:58,269 --> 00:06:59,302
Ow!

218
00:06:59,870 --> 00:07:02,037
There's my guy.

219
00:07:02,105 --> 00:07:04,573
I thought dad was picking me up.

220
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:06,142
Oh. I missed you, too.

221
00:07:06,209 --> 00:07:06,909
Come here.

222
00:07:06,977 --> 00:07:08,577
Aww.

223
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,846
So, did you have fun?

224
00:07:10,914 --> 00:07:11,781
Yeah.

225
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:12,848
What was your favorite thing?

226
00:07:12,916 --> 00:07:13,916
I don't remember.

227
00:07:13,984 --> 00:07:15,351
It was yesterday.

228
00:07:15,419 --> 00:07:17,353
Hot dogs. Can we go now?

229
00:07:17,421 --> 00:07:19,021
Honey, I feel bad that
you have to leave early.

230
00:07:19,089 --> 00:07:20,022
What are you missing today?

231
00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:21,457
Boating.

232
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,626
Well, I mean, we have a little time.

233
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,327
You don't mind waiting in the car?

234
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:33,702
So, Cam tells me you and
Mitch had a little dust-up.

235
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:34,736
Yeah.

236
00:07:34,804 --> 00:07:37,239
A couple of weeks ago.

237
00:07:37,306 --> 00:07:39,341
That kid can hold a grudge.

238
00:07:39,409 --> 00:07:41,877
A little uncomfortable
about that wedding, are you?

239
00:07:41,944 --> 00:07:43,879
Well, you know what I'm feeling, right?

240
00:07:45,181 --> 00:07:48,016
I'd like to think I've
evolved on the subject.

241
00:07:48,084 --> 00:07:51,319
We got a couple of lesbo swans in the pond.

242
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,754
They seem pretty happy.

243
00:07:52,822 --> 00:07:55,757
Hey, Jay.

244
00:07:55,825 --> 00:07:57,793
Hey, Howard, Larry.

245
00:07:57,860 --> 00:08:00,295
This is my, uh...

246
00:08:00,363 --> 00:08:04,165
This is my friend Merle and
he's visiting from Missouri.

247
00:08:04,232 --> 00:08:06,167
Ooh, the "show me" state.

248
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,402
Don't say that in here!

249
00:08:12,007 --> 00:08:13,407
So, what brings you to town, Merle?

250
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:17,779
Well, uh, my... our...

251
00:08:17,846 --> 00:08:23,782
Jay's and my... kids are
getting married today.

252
00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:24,617
Congratulations.

253
00:08:24,685 --> 00:08:26,686
Isn't that nice?

254
00:08:26,754 --> 00:08:28,121
Father of the bride, father of the groom

255
00:08:28,189 --> 00:08:29,756
taking a steam together
the day of the wedding.

256
00:08:29,824 --> 00:08:31,357
Yeah, something like that.

257
00:08:31,425 --> 00:08:33,326
The day my son got
married... piece of cake.

258
00:08:33,394 --> 00:08:35,128
But the day I lost my little girl...

259
00:08:35,196 --> 00:08:36,529
Ohh, that wrecked me.

260
00:08:36,597 --> 00:08:39,032
So, which one of you has to
suffer through that today?

261
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:42,035
You know what? It's too hot in here.

262
00:08:42,103 --> 00:08:43,002
Yeah. Let's go.

263
00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:45,071
Mm-hmm. Real evolved.

264
00:08:45,139 --> 00:08:46,973
Your swans would be ashamed.

265
00:08:48,442 --> 00:08:51,845
Well, I guess I first noticed
it after Pameron moved out,

266
00:08:51,912 --> 00:08:55,081
and Merle and I just started
sniping at each other.

267
00:08:55,149 --> 00:08:57,617
Yeah, like that bloodbath this morning?

268
00:08:57,685 --> 00:08:59,452
Ohh. Again, I am so sorry.

269
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:03,356
But Merle is not the type
you can talk to about things.

270
00:09:03,424 --> 00:09:06,159
I mean, the man's had
a toothpick in his mouth

271
00:09:06,227 --> 00:09:08,828
our whole marriage, and I can't say a word.

272
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:10,864
No, you can't sit on your feelings.

273
00:09:10,931 --> 00:09:12,032
You will explode!

274
00:09:12,099 --> 00:09:17,370
I have, like, 10 little explosions every
day, so I don't have the big one.

275
00:09:17,438 --> 00:09:18,638
The women in my family...

276
00:09:18,706 --> 00:09:20,673
Sometimes, they shoot their husbands.

277
00:09:20,741 --> 00:09:25,277
Well, we've had 48... good years.

278
00:09:25,345 --> 00:09:28,513
I... guess we're just
gonna run out the clock.

279
00:09:29,081 --> 00:09:30,448
No!

280
00:09:30,516 --> 00:09:32,317
You're still...

281
00:09:32,385 --> 00:09:34,519
You have...

282
00:09:34,587 --> 00:09:36,121
That is bad attitude!

283
00:09:36,188 --> 00:09:38,757
You have to tell Merle
what is bothering you.

284
00:09:38,824 --> 00:09:40,658
Oh, he doesn't want to hear all that.

285
00:09:40,726 --> 00:09:44,229
He gets all closed off and macho.

286
00:09:46,265 --> 00:09:48,033
You're ticklin' my piggies.

287
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,300
You get used to that.

288
00:09:51,570 --> 00:09:54,238
It's a shame Mitchell's mother
couldn't make it to the wedding.

289
00:09:54,306 --> 00:09:55,539
For who?

290
00:09:55,607 --> 00:09:58,309
Mm, things still rough
between the two of you?

291
00:09:58,376 --> 00:10:00,578
Merle, things have always been rough.

292
00:10:00,645 --> 00:10:02,813
That woman never stopped complaining.

293
00:10:02,881 --> 00:10:06,517
Finding the strength to leave Dede
was the hardest thing I ever did,

294
00:10:06,585 --> 00:10:09,420
but the best decision I ever made.

295
00:10:09,488 --> 00:10:11,922
Well, you sure made a
score with that Gloria.

296
00:10:12,690 --> 00:10:13,190
Wow.

297
00:10:13,257 --> 00:10:13,990
Big-time.

298
00:10:15,326 --> 00:10:18,862
I bet you landed her before she got
a gander at those hooves of yours.

299
00:10:20,264 --> 00:10:22,199
You're welcome, by the way.

300
00:10:23,301 --> 00:10:25,535
So, what are you gonna do in Utah?

301
00:10:25,603 --> 00:10:28,839
Well, me and my girlfriend haven't
seen each other in a while,

302
00:10:28,906 --> 00:10:31,741
so we're gonna be like a
couple of bunny rabbits.

303
00:10:31,809 --> 00:10:34,077
- Wow.
- Just hopping all over town.

304
00:10:34,145 --> 00:10:36,179
Oh.

305
00:10:36,247 --> 00:10:37,280
Is this her?

306
00:10:37,348 --> 00:10:38,882
Yep, that's my Beth.

307
00:10:38,950 --> 00:10:40,884
Huh. She's pretty.

308
00:10:40,952 --> 00:10:42,185
Yeah.

309
00:10:42,953 --> 00:10:45,188
She's the most beautiful
creature, inside and out.

310
00:10:45,255 --> 00:10:47,890
I'm just the luckiest guy
ever to get to love her.

311
00:10:47,958 --> 00:10:50,159
Okay, she may be real, but no way you are.

312
00:10:50,227 --> 00:10:51,460
Who talks like that?

313
00:10:51,528 --> 00:10:53,329
You know, I hate when
you say things like that

314
00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:55,264
because you are funny, and you are pretty,

315
00:10:55,332 --> 00:10:57,066
and you are smart in an original way,

316
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,268
so why shouldn't a guy
feel lucky to love you?

317
00:10:59,336 --> 00:11:01,070
Shut up. Be normal.

318
00:11:02,297 --> 00:11:03,977
Hey, my phone just buzzed.
Can you read it?

319
00:11:04,007 --> 00:11:05,527
I don't want to put our lives at risk.

320
00:11:08,478 --> 00:11:10,212
It's, uh, it's from the airline.

321
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,114
Your flight's delayed three hours.

322
00:11:12,182 --> 00:11:13,815
- Three hours?!
- Yeah.

323
00:11:13,883 --> 00:11:15,651
Ohh! Jinkies!

324
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:18,053
I guess we can just drop
me off at a coffee shop,

325
00:11:18,121 --> 00:11:19,788
and I can take a cab from there.

326
00:11:19,856 --> 00:11:20,656
Okay.

327
00:11:22,592 --> 00:11:24,126
Actually, I really need to wake up.

328
00:11:24,194 --> 00:11:26,395
Maybe I'll grab a coffee
with you, if you don't mind.

329
00:11:26,462 --> 00:11:27,229
Please.

330
00:11:27,297 --> 00:11:30,499
The more I talk to people, the less
I imagine plummeting to my death

331
00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:32,768
in a fiery spiral of screaming and crying.

332
00:11:32,836 --> 00:11:36,004
Pretty dark for someone
who just said "jinkies."

333
00:11:36,772 --> 00:11:39,440
Well, I guess we have different
definitions of "emergency," then.

334
00:11:39,508 --> 00:11:40,975
You know, I'm just gonna say it...

335
00:11:41,043 --> 00:11:43,311
911 dispatchers have a
little bit of attitude.

336
00:11:43,379 --> 00:11:45,213
Well, you requested a S.W.A.T. Team.

337
00:11:45,281 --> 00:11:47,115
Is anybody else hungry?

338
00:11:47,182 --> 00:11:48,783
Mitchell! Mitchell!

339
00:11:48,851 --> 00:11:49,918
Look at this.

340
00:11:49,985 --> 00:11:51,653
Do you think you could fit in there?

341
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:52,920
I'm not doing that.

342
00:11:52,955 --> 00:11:54,675
Then what am I gonna
wear to our wedding...

343
00:11:54,690 --> 00:11:55,690
My black funeral suit?

344
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:56,925
Is that the tone you want to set?

345
00:11:56,992 --> 00:11:58,293
You wore it to one funeral.

346
00:11:58,360 --> 00:11:59,594
And you didn't even know Bea Arthur.

347
00:11:59,662 --> 00:12:01,262
- I felt like I did.
- I know.

348
00:12:01,330 --> 00:12:02,764
Oh.

349
00:12:02,831 --> 00:12:04,499
It's Pepper. He'll know what to do.

350
00:12:04,567 --> 00:12:06,267
- Yes.
- Pepper. Disaster.

351
00:12:06,335 --> 00:12:09,671
It's not a disaster. It's just a wildfire.

352
00:12:09,738 --> 00:12:12,273
And it's most certainly not
going to burn down your wedding.

353
00:12:12,341 --> 00:12:13,374
- What?!
- What?

354
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:14,943
There's a wildfire near the venue.

355
00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:15,843
No!

356
00:12:15,911 --> 00:12:17,111
Yes, but it's fine.

357
00:12:17,179 --> 00:12:19,514
Ronaldo is going to
text-blast the guest list,

358
00:12:19,582 --> 00:12:22,417
tell them the wedding is
being moved from 5:00 to 1:00.

359
00:12:22,484 --> 00:12:23,651
Oh, my God!

360
00:12:23,719 --> 00:12:25,253
Don't panic.

361
00:12:25,321 --> 00:12:29,190
Would somebody please turn
off that wretched waterfall?!

362
00:12:29,258 --> 00:12:31,025
Kill the waterfall immediately!

363
00:12:34,429 --> 00:12:36,430
The fire is already 28% contained.

364
00:12:36,498 --> 00:12:37,698
That doesn't sound like a lot.

365
00:12:37,732 --> 00:12:39,266
Just get dressed and look pretty.

366
00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:41,368
I'm going to send the
car for you in one hour.

367
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,638
Have you lost your mind?!

368
00:12:47,042 --> 00:12:48,776
Go! You disgust me!

369
00:12:48,843 --> 00:12:49,977
Go!

370
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,046
Okay.

371
00:12:53,114 --> 00:12:54,414
Now what are we gonna do?

372
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:55,715
No, I guess maybe...

373
00:12:55,783 --> 00:12:58,685
No, th... cam, there's no
way I could fit through there.

374
00:13:00,588 --> 00:13:02,689
You two exhaust me.

375
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:05,825
What?

376
00:13:05,893 --> 00:13:07,560
We have to be there in an hour!

377
00:13:07,628 --> 00:13:09,095
I can't go like this!

378
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,530
Look at me!

379
00:13:10,598 --> 00:13:11,831
I hate you.

380
00:13:11,899 --> 00:13:14,834
Prepare yourself for the
best burger of your life.

381
00:13:18,272 --> 00:13:19,973
We got to go.

382
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:23,443
Uh-oh.

383
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:24,832
Maybe we should try on more hats.

384
00:13:24,879 --> 00:13:26,913
Do you think we have time?

385
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,482
It's not working!

386
00:13:29,549 --> 00:13:30,783
And there's no oar?

387
00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:33,752
We are literally up a
creek without a paddle?

388
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:35,621
Okay, Lily, Lily!

389
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:38,424
Okay, you're gonna press
the green button to start it,

390
00:13:38,492 --> 00:13:41,794
and then you're gonna
look for number 9-1-3.

391
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:45,431
And then, when you see it go by, you
press the red button to stop it, okay?

392
00:13:45,499 --> 00:13:46,432
Okay.

393
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:47,633
Oh, I'm so glad you're here.

394
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:49,602
I get us into these
situations, and I freak,

395
00:13:49,669 --> 00:13:51,337
and then you always fix the problem.

396
00:13:51,404 --> 00:13:53,172
Well, now, we each have our own gifts.

397
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,142
It's just it's easier for me
to stay calm in the face of...

398
00:13:56,209 --> 00:13:58,577
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Oh, oh!

399
00:13:58,645 --> 00:14:01,413
- Lily, daddy's coming for you!
- Oh, my God!

400
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,779
Okay, now, Lily, press the red button!

401
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,946
I'm breaking the window!

402
00:14:10,014 --> 00:14:11,048
Put that down!

403
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:12,917
Thank God you're here.

404
00:14:12,984 --> 00:14:14,224
Are you breaking into my store?

405
00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:17,088
Uh, no.

406
00:14:17,155 --> 00:14:18,456
Why would you even say that?

407
00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:19,790
My alarm went off.

408
00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:23,060
Oh, well, okay, that is a coincidence
because his tuxedo is in there,

409
00:14:23,128 --> 00:14:24,795
and we're getting married in an hour.

410
00:14:26,531 --> 00:14:28,031
You are totally saving us.

411
00:14:28,099 --> 00:14:30,634
You know, I freak out
at situations like this,

412
00:14:30,701 --> 00:14:33,316
which forces him to fix
the problem, you know?

413
00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:39,576
I'm over here, freaking out, while he's
somewhere else, fixing the problem.

414
00:14:39,644 --> 00:14:42,145
- Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
- Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

415
00:14:42,213 --> 00:14:45,215
Oh! Oh.

416
00:14:45,283 --> 00:14:47,417
Well, maybe that's a
good thing, you know...

417
00:14:47,485 --> 00:14:48,418
The yin, the yang?

418
00:14:48,486 --> 00:14:50,554
Yeah, whatever, Jerry.

419
00:14:50,621 --> 00:14:51,855
Where'd she come from?

420
00:14:51,923 --> 00:14:53,857
Oh, oh, because she doesn't look like us?

421
00:14:53,925 --> 00:14:55,359
- That's offensive.
- Oh, Jerry.

422
00:14:55,426 --> 00:14:55,926
Oh, Jerry.

423
00:14:59,197 --> 00:15:00,697
What are we going to do?

424
00:15:00,765 --> 00:15:02,399
I know how to get up there.

425
00:15:02,467 --> 00:15:03,700
I'm blind. Follow me.

426
00:15:03,768 --> 00:15:05,048
- Oh, I'm not doing that.
- Alex!

427
00:15:09,673 --> 00:15:12,113
Excuse me, could someone help
me to find the back of the line?

428
00:15:12,143 --> 00:15:13,410
Oh, no, no. It's okay. Oh.

429
00:15:13,478 --> 00:15:14,544
Go right ahead. Are you sure?

430
00:15:14,612 --> 00:15:15,212
Mm-hmm.

431
00:15:15,279 --> 00:15:16,179
Can I help you?

432
00:15:16,247 --> 00:15:17,481
Yes, picking up for Dunphy.

433
00:15:17,548 --> 00:15:18,749
It's on hold, I believe.

434
00:15:18,816 --> 00:15:21,385
Beautiful day, huh? I was told.

435
00:15:21,452 --> 00:15:22,352
Here we go.

436
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,654
Credit card?

437
00:15:24,722 --> 00:15:27,223
Uh, just to be sure...
That is turquoise, right?

438
00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:29,726
Because my wife said it
also comes in emerald.

439
00:15:29,793 --> 00:15:31,861
Yes. Sir, it's a very long line.

440
00:15:31,929 --> 00:15:32,962
Mm. Okay.

441
00:15:33,030 --> 00:15:34,430
Um, can I have it for one second?

442
00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:39,769
Thank you.

443
00:15:39,837 --> 00:15:41,237
Yep, that doesn't feel like turquoise.

444
00:15:41,305 --> 00:15:44,473
You can feel color?
You gotta be kidding me.

445
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:46,975
When you lose one sense, all your
other senses become heightened.

446
00:15:47,043 --> 00:15:48,510
That's why you sound so
loud and judge-y to me.

447
00:15:48,578 --> 00:15:49,611
My mistake, sir.

448
00:15:49,679 --> 00:15:51,346
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

449
00:15:55,318 --> 00:15:56,452
Here it is.

450
00:15:56,519 --> 00:15:58,487
Hey, he's messing with the blind guy.

451
00:15:58,555 --> 00:16:00,189
Thank you... wherever you are.

452
00:16:00,256 --> 00:16:01,657
I don't think he's really blind.

453
00:16:01,725 --> 00:16:02,758
Excuse me.

454
00:16:02,826 --> 00:16:06,295
My father suffered methanol poisoning
on a humanitarian mission in Honduras,

455
00:16:06,363 --> 00:16:10,065
resulting in permanent neurological
dysfunction and irreversible blindness.

456
00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:13,068
It's been hard enough on our family
wit people like you making it worse.

457
00:16:13,136 --> 00:16:16,939
If he feels it's not the
bowl, it's not the bowl.

458
00:16:17,006 --> 00:16:19,141
I'm so sorry.

459
00:16:19,209 --> 00:16:21,643
I'll check on the turquoise.

460
00:16:21,711 --> 00:16:23,345
Okay, that was kind of fun.

461
00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:25,114
I'm winking at you right now.

462
00:16:27,083 --> 00:16:29,617
Ohh, this is not working.

463
00:16:29,685 --> 00:16:34,022
We are never gonna get there on
time, and I am the best person.

464
00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:35,190
Oh, God! Oh!

465
00:16:35,257 --> 00:16:36,658
I think just broke a nail on a turtle.

466
00:16:36,726 --> 00:16:39,127
You're the one
who wanted to come out here.

467
00:16:39,195 --> 00:16:43,298
Yes, I did, because I wanted
to spend some time with my son.

468
00:16:43,366 --> 00:16:44,566
You've...

469
00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:46,000
You've been pushing me away so much lately,

470
00:16:46,068 --> 00:16:47,736
and I don't want you to
grow up to be the kind of kid

471
00:16:47,803 --> 00:16:49,843
who doesn't care if his
mom shows up at his wedding.

472
00:16:50,439 --> 00:16:51,705
What are you talking about?

473
00:16:51,773 --> 00:16:55,342
Nana isn't coming today,
and Mitchell's relieved.

474
00:16:55,444 --> 00:16:58,679
Well... I'd be really sad
if you missed my wedding.

475
00:16:58,747 --> 00:17:00,848
Really? You promise?

476
00:17:00,916 --> 00:17:02,716
Totally. And so would Kate.

477
00:17:02,784 --> 00:17:03,851
Who's Kate?

478
00:17:03,919 --> 00:17:06,687
Upton. My wife, your daughter-in-law.

479
00:17:06,755 --> 00:17:08,289
Oh. Get on board.

480
00:17:08,356 --> 00:17:09,590
Come on.

481
00:17:09,658 --> 00:17:11,759
Then what has been going
on with you recently?

482
00:17:11,827 --> 00:17:12,927
You've been so moody.

483
00:17:13,694 --> 00:17:16,329
I'm sorry, but I'm sick of going to school

484
00:17:16,397 --> 00:17:18,799
and hearing teachers say,
"You're Alex Dunphy's brother?

485
00:17:18,866 --> 00:17:20,834
Really?" Like I'm an idiot.

486
00:17:20,902 --> 00:17:22,302
Oh, honey, you're not an idiot.

487
00:17:22,370 --> 00:17:23,703
I forgot the paddle

488
00:17:23,771 --> 00:17:26,706
even though we just learned
the boating checklist yesterday.

489
00:17:26,774 --> 00:17:28,108
Alex would never do that.

490
00:17:28,176 --> 00:17:31,111
And if she did, she'd probably,
like... I don't know...

491
00:17:31,179 --> 00:17:34,614
use this fishing rod to cast
out and hook us on the shore

492
00:17:34,682 --> 00:17:36,450
because "I'm so smart."

493
00:17:36,517 --> 00:17:40,420
And then she'd pull us in because
everything she does always works.

494
00:17:40,488 --> 00:17:42,656
Oh, my God. It's working.

495
00:17:42,723 --> 00:17:43,423
It's working!

496
00:17:43,491 --> 00:17:46,660
Figures. Alex.

497
00:17:48,306 --> 00:17:49,466
Ooh, ooh. Don't move.

498
00:17:49,496 --> 00:17:51,016
The lighting is really cool right now.

499
00:17:51,798 --> 00:17:53,078
What are you doing? Don't smile.

500
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:54,433
Why? It's my favorite thing.

501
00:17:54,501 --> 00:17:56,569
No, really, be serious.

502
00:17:56,637 --> 00:17:58,237
Look out the window. Okay.

503
00:18:00,641 --> 00:18:01,541
Look.

504
00:18:01,608 --> 00:18:03,643
Whoa!

505
00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:06,312
That is honestly the best
photo anyone's ever taken of me.

506
00:18:06,380 --> 00:18:07,346
Thank you.

507
00:18:07,414 --> 00:18:08,775
You mind if I send a copy to Beth?

508
00:18:09,516 --> 00:18:12,918
Andy, um...

509
00:18:12,986 --> 00:18:14,753
When I read the text about your flight,

510
00:18:14,821 --> 00:18:17,723
I saw the text from Beth
telling you not to come.

511
00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:19,858
Yeah, she doesn't mean that.

512
00:18:20,927 --> 00:18:22,594
She said, "it's over."

513
00:18:22,662 --> 00:18:24,663
That can mean a lot of different things.

514
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:28,567
Your phone's buzzing again.

515
00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:32,804
Oh, my God. The wedding got moved up.

516
00:18:32,872 --> 00:18:34,473
I have to go.

517
00:18:35,542 --> 00:18:37,576
Andy, are you sure about
getting on that plane?

518
00:18:37,644 --> 00:18:38,877
Yeah, yeah. I-I'm fine.

519
00:18:38,945 --> 00:18:41,046
You know, she does this
every once in a while.

520
00:18:41,814 --> 00:18:42,947
She just likes the drama.

521
00:18:43,015 --> 00:18:44,816
- But I... okay.
- Haley,

522
00:18:44,883 --> 00:18:46,651
I appreciate your concern
...I really do...

523
00:18:46,719 --> 00:18:49,887
But I've been in this relationship
off and on for eight years,

524
00:18:49,955 --> 00:18:52,156
so I kind of know what
I'm doing, all right?

525
00:18:52,224 --> 00:18:53,391
Thank you for the ride.

526
00:18:57,229 --> 00:18:59,731
It's a tool of the trade.
The car one says "Toyota."

527
00:19:05,337 --> 00:19:06,270
Ah.

528
00:19:06,338 --> 00:19:07,438
I have eyes on the grooms.

529
00:19:07,505 --> 00:19:08,772
I'm three feet behind you.

530
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,140
How's it going? Are people showing up?

531
00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:12,242
It's all under control.

532
00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:13,877
Surprise! Guess who's on time.

533
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:14,778
Oh, my God!

534
00:19:14,846 --> 00:19:15,813
Sal, wow, you're pregnant.

535
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:16,880
Congratulations!

536
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:19,283
Thank you. We're really excited.

537
00:19:19,351 --> 00:19:20,751
You're huge.

538
00:19:20,819 --> 00:19:22,019
Nice teeth.

539
00:19:22,087 --> 00:19:23,253
Uh, so, w-where's Tony?

540
00:19:23,321 --> 00:19:24,455
Oh, beats me.

541
00:19:24,522 --> 00:19:25,990
Haven't spoken to him since the divorce.

542
00:19:26,057 --> 00:19:27,124
Oh.

543
00:19:27,192 --> 00:19:29,059
Yeah, it's, uh, Eddie. Eddie! Baby! Yeah!

544
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:30,427
Come here! Come meet the girls!

545
00:19:30,495 --> 00:19:31,428
Eddie.

546
00:19:31,496 --> 00:19:32,336
This is Eddie. Eddie.

547
00:19:32,364 --> 00:19:34,999
Cam, Mitch, peps, this guy.

548
00:19:35,066 --> 00:19:37,067
Hey. This is Eddie, my baby daddy.

549
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,216
So, why didn't you tell us?

550
00:19:38,236 --> 00:19:40,756
Oh, you know, we just wanted to
get through that first trimester

551
00:19:40,772 --> 00:19:42,239
before we let the cat
out of the bag. Mm-hmm.

552
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,574
When was that... last summer?

553
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,609
So, y-you're... you're how far along now?

554
00:19:45,677 --> 00:19:47,277
About four months. Right, honey?

555
00:19:47,345 --> 00:19:49,113
Four months. Yep. Yeah.

556
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:52,516
Just about the exact amount of time
Eddie and I have been together.

557
00:19:52,584 --> 00:19:53,751
I don't understand.

558
00:19:53,785 --> 00:19:56,086
Four is this many, yes?

559
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:57,254
Sí.

560
00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:58,789
Hola, handsome boys.

561
00:20:00,257 --> 00:20:01,390
You two look gorgeous.

562
00:20:01,458 --> 00:20:03,025
- Gracias.
- Oh, thank you.

563
00:20:03,093 --> 00:20:04,193
Pretty nice, huh? Like a regular wedding.

564
00:20:04,261 --> 00:20:05,494
What?

565
00:20:05,562 --> 00:20:07,029
Good start, Jay.

566
00:20:07,057 --> 00:20:08,577
Hey, Merle, it's your son's wedding...

567
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:11,500
Maybe lose the toothpick?

568
00:20:11,568 --> 00:20:13,169
I'm getting tired of this nagging.

569
00:20:13,236 --> 00:20:13,936
I'm leaving you.

570
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:14,804
What? What?

571
00:20:14,871 --> 00:20:16,305
Not if I leave you first!

572
00:20:16,373 --> 00:20:18,174
No, no, no, you don't mean this!

573
00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:19,909
Oh, don't you feel bad, honey.

574
00:20:19,976 --> 00:20:21,277
You have helped me today.

575
00:20:21,344 --> 00:20:23,646
Thanks for getting me over the hump.

576
00:20:23,713 --> 00:20:26,182
What did you do?

577
00:20:26,249 --> 00:20:27,783
Wow. We're doing this.

578
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:30,619
Are you ready?

579
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,521
I don't want to wait another minute.

580
00:20:32,589 --> 00:20:35,090
Lily, hit it.

581
00:20:35,158 --> 00:20:37,126
Aww. That's sweet.

582
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,233
On 3, boys.

583
00:20:44,301 --> 00:20:45,935
1, 2...

584
00:20:46,002 --> 00:20:48,370
Attention! Attention, please!

585
00:20:48,438 --> 00:20:49,939
The fire has jumped the freeway.

586
00:20:50,006 --> 00:20:51,207
I'm really sorry, folks.

587
00:20:51,274 --> 00:20:53,375
I'm gonna have to evacuate
everyone immediately.

588
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,612
So, this is our bump.

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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